How babies change your relationship
They’re squishy and plump and they smell like talcum powder, freshly baked biscuits and rose petals. Yes, babies truly are lovely. But no matter how adorable your new child is, there is no denying that its arrival changes the relationships you have with everyone around you.
Your relationship with yourself
You used to be able to have an hour-long bath or leisurely read a magazine, but as soon as a baby arrives in your life, you’ll realise that ‘me’ time moves right down the agenda. Suddenly life is full of nappy-changing, feed times and glorious cuddles with your newborn, and that book you were avidly reading has become a thing of the past. But it’s important not to let your own sense of self get lost in the shuffle. Throwing yourself into being a mummy is part of the fun, but after a few months of devoting yourself entirely to your little one you should make an effort to regain some time for you. This means having a little bit of time away from your baby; going to the gym, browsing through your favourite shops or meeting friends for a coffee. Whatever it is, make time to do something selfish once a week at least.
Your relationship with your partner
Having a baby pulls lots of couples closer together but for the majority, making the transition from just the two of you to sleep-deprived parents can put pressure on even the most stable relationships. Snapping at each other at 3am when your baby won’t sleep, or feeling second best to the new person in the house are common complaints. The key to restoring what you had before your baby arrived is communication; if you don’t feel appreciated or you want your partner to help out with the baby more, tell them directly and swiftly. Be aware that they are probably feeling neglected as you focus your attentions onto your baby, so remember to ask them how they feel and make some time for the two of you to be together.
Your relationship with your best childless friend
You’ve shared drunken nights, gossiped and argued over clothes but what happens when your lives spiral into different directions? Having a baby can put pressure on your relationship as she starts to feel left out of the experiences you’re having, not to mention your new mummy friends. Put yourself in her shoes; she’s lost someone to go out with and probably doesn’t feel you have much in common any more. Why not have a night off from being a mummy and spend some time getting your relationship back on track? Explain you will feel ready for a night out eventually – it may just take a bit of time. And whatever you do, try not to be a baby bore. This is a night to watch ‘Sex and the City’ and drink wine, and not a night to show off your baby photos or call home every five minutes to check your baby is OK..
Your relationship with your mum
Becoming a mum can help you to appreciate your own mother and what she did for you; she understands what you are going through, because obviously, she’s done it too! Whilst you and your mum may differ in parenting methods, she will also be a great source of information, guidance and help. A special bond will form as a third generation of your family enters the world. So while it may be stressful at times, your relationship with your mum will achieve new depth as you yourself become a caretaker. If you are feeling unappreciated or have the baby blues, pick up the phone to your mum and thank her for what she did for you and then pour your heart out – she’ll understand. As an added bonus, mums also make great babysitters!
